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Story Time!
I've got the idea for my first children's book!
Okay, so for those of you that don't work in a library, the majority of children's books out there are HORRIBLE. Shit illustrations, warped themes, zero writing and subject matter that's worse than anything Daddy's Roomate threw at kids. But no one seems to really sit down and realize what's in these books, so I've been pushing my friends to write a book with me since apparently they'll publish anything. I told Robert my idea and he gave me a BSC look, so let's see what everyone else thinks! :D
The title is Mama Sasha and Her Time-Travelling Tip Tail.
"Mama Sasha is a very lazy cat, but hijinx abounded when she had six crazy kittens! Normally, she doesn't do much, but when she swishes her tip tail, she can travel through time!"
Okay, so to summarize, Mama Sasha travels back in time to when she got knocked up to prevent her from getting knocked up in the first place. She then returns to the present day, free of kittens and able to relax all day.
*cut to Story Time with the kids*
Random Kid: ....are her kittens dead?
Me: No, of course not! They just exist in a parallel universe now. You see, when Mama Sasha altered the course of her history, she created a new timeline in which the kittens don't exist!
*Kids start crying*
Me: What?? They're still out there in the space-time continuum!
Join us for our next adventure in the book Sasha and Her Time-Travelling Tip Tail!
Okay, so for those of you that don't work in a library, the majority of children's books out there are HORRIBLE. Shit illustrations, warped themes, zero writing and subject matter that's worse than anything Daddy's Roomate threw at kids. But no one seems to really sit down and realize what's in these books, so I've been pushing my friends to write a book with me since apparently they'll publish anything. I told Robert my idea and he gave me a BSC look, so let's see what everyone else thinks! :D
The title is Mama Sasha and Her Time-Travelling Tip Tail.
"Mama Sasha is a very lazy cat, but hijinx abounded when she had six crazy kittens! Normally, she doesn't do much, but when she swishes her tip tail, she can travel through time!"
Okay, so to summarize, Mama Sasha travels back in time to when she got knocked up to prevent her from getting knocked up in the first place. She then returns to the present day, free of kittens and able to relax all day.
*cut to Story Time with the kids*
Random Kid: ....are her kittens dead?
Me: No, of course not! They just exist in a parallel universe now. You see, when Mama Sasha altered the course of her history, she created a new timeline in which the kittens don't exist!
*Kids start crying*
Me: What?? They're still out there in the space-time continuum!
Join us for our next adventure in the book Sasha and Her Time-Travelling Tip Tail!
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lmao, I love it. I'd buy it.
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And next time you're in a bookstore, just browse the shelves. It's not even boring and safe. The one we found today were toilet songs done to other songs, so like london bridges was changed to something like "stinky poop is very squishy!" or something and there was a lactating rat in there and it was so WTF. And then the toilet was huge, like how does that not scare kids??
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I guess I didn't realize that some kids books were that crazy. I don't remember my elementary school library being full of those kind of crazy books. Maybe they screen better then the public library.
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If I didn't fear the pink [somehow the kids section of the bookstore is freakishly pink] I would wander over and see what crap lurks on the shelves.
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