Strange Ways

I was wondering something today. Do I say and do things because that's how I really feel or do I just do it because I like the reactions and that's what really satisfies me? And if I don't even know, how does anyone else? So, if you have a Geminian friend, never believe everything they say. They'll do anything to rile you up.

Down again...

Well, I found out Sunnie called about 30 minutes before I got back from dinner and I'm sure her, Robert and Leo went out again tonight. And yet again, I'm not included. I guess it's supposed to be this way. They seem better suited for each other and I'll always be the odd man out in any setting. I should have come to accept by now that all my friendships are fleeting. They never last. I don't blame them, it's probably my personality or lack thereof. I'm just not the type suited to friends, I think.
Perhaps they don't last because it seems that I take on a helper role in the relationship and then when the other person is helped, they have no more need of me and move on to other people that they like/need more. But that may be thinking too much of myself...

Ode to Wyrm

Well, Doug wanted to know what he is to people, so I guess I should say. I'm doing it here cause I want to write a poem, but it's not coming out too well, and I feel weird saying things to people's faces about them.

Doug is Wyrmis and he is my friend. He laughs and cackles throughout our convos and though it may be wrong I can picture it quite clearly. He does his best to cheer me up and talk me through my problems and tries to solve them from the roots rather than just grazing over them with superficial words. He confuses me, sometimes intentionally, oftimes not. He's very smart and the wordiest, thinkiest guy I know. I can't always follow what he says, but he believes in his words and it's enough for me. I admire him a lot because he's very aware of things and able-y expresses super complicated matters that just make me lost. He's a fellow twin and we get each other more than other people, I think, at least in terms of our personality quirks. We can flirt together, laugh at ourselves, gossip about others and it's all good. One day, we'll meet on a bed of roses with scented oil. I just know it. : )

Cheer up, Baby Dougie! I love you always and I'll send you a box of good wishes! Just kick the world in the ass when it starts getting you down.

More Intro Thoughts

I thought of another conflict going on inside of me, thanks to the gemini traits and introverted ones. Introverts like to delve deeply into a subject and learn everything about it, but as a gemini I'm very superficial and don't like to get into things too deep because then it starts spiriling downards or I start contradicting myself and it's very frustrating. Just a thought anyways. I'm hoping this journal will give me some kind of insights to myself and maybe help me out with a lot of my personal and social problems. Here's to hope.