Cat Poem

[zallia]

Petco's having it's grand opening this weekend and friday is Feline Friday. There's a photo contest and a poetry contest. Tell me what you guy's think! Any help is appreciated! And there's still time, so if this one isn't up to par I can attempt another.

Ode to a Chiblet

 

A chiblet cat’s a special cat,

She really is quite rare,

Her orange coat is magnificent,

And my home is now her lair.

 

We play hide and seek and “tag, you’re it!”,

She’s the smartest cat you’ll find,

She’s a master of escaping,

Really, just one-of-a-kind.

 

She looks at me with gimpy eyes,

And my heart begins to melt,

Because that love that’s unconditional,

Is the best I’ve ever felt.

 

She knows when I am feeling sad,

And does her best to lend a hand,

She drives me up the wall sometimes,

But a better friend I’ve never had.

 

So ode to you, Fair Chiblet!

You’re always there for me,

Alright, I’m giving up my future now,

I’m so that crazy cat lady.

 

Or

 

Alright, I’m giving up my secret now,

The crazy cat lady, I’m sure I’ll (to?) be.

Comments

[kuraibanin.livejournal.com]

Aww!! That's cute! I like it!

I think I would pick the latter finish:

Alright, I’m giving up my secret now,
The crazy cat lady, I’m sure to be.

[serisun.livejournal.com]

That's pretty awesome. Very cool poem!
I love it up until the end.
But i'm not quite feeling either of the endings you have up there.
of course i'm picky but...maybe if you make it more definitive like:

"Allright, I'm giviing up my future now,
The crazy cat lady I'm going to be!"

Otherwise I think i'd go with the 2nd one you have up as it rhymes better.
(I would suggest using "to" instead of "I'll")

[zallia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm going to be fussing with that one tomorrow. I do'nt really like it either, but haven't come up with anything to change it to yet. I also switched some lines and stanzas? Whatever the chunks of lines are around so it sounds better that way. This was just the first draft, so critism is welcome!