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Feb. 4th, 2010 02:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zalliaIt's been awhile. Was the hair thing the last post? I think I did something after. Christmas probably. Still more than a month ago. January's just been...ech. I've been varying between depression, unhappiness or just general malaise.
I took a hard hit when Fluffernutter disappeared. I still have no idea what happened to her, but even though she was outdoors, she always greeted me when I came and left my house and it still hurts to have lost her. Still tearing up, apparently.
Some other crap's gone down recently that has made me deeply resentful and unhappy to the point where I think I just need to retreat awhile and cut out a part of my life. I was ready to leave work last night, but I think that was too drastic. There's angry emotions still inside, though, but I think I just need turn to other things at this point in time. I've realized how draining it is to hate someone I barely even see and the frustration I feel about other people's lives, well damn near every day and it's just not something I want to live with anymore. Yeah, there's being a friend, but at this point, I don't think I'm helping much in that regard and I would rather just take the stress away from myself. Cryptic, I know, but I'm just working a lot of stuff out right now. I'm hoping by letting this go, I can move forward more with my life instead of dwelling on things that will never happen.
I did order some dolls to help cheer me up, even though they probably won't be here til late march or april. :| Finally ordered my Puki PongPong
denverdoll.com/images/fairyland/pongpongirl.jpg
since they're pretty rare on the marketplace and got a pukifee since I talked myself out of a Lati Ninja.
denverdoll.com/images/fairyland/pffloracol.jpg
Still love them, but holy crap they are expensive. And since I was close to the amount, I got Puki Chichi too, so he'll be the last little angry part of my gang. I need to figure out a weapon for him though.
denverdoll.com/images/fairyland/chichi.jpg
That also netted me the limited scar head and fire magic arm for a minifee. I'll worry about getting a body when I've actually got the stuff and a faceup for it. I may actually comission that one out if I can figure out how I want it to look. Not sure on the closed eyes either, but I'm sure I could find someone to open the non-scarred one if need be. Aaah, can't wait. They're all so cute.
Actually, I should have my Customhouse dolls coming soon. They're supposedly onto the indidual Oct orders and ours was mid-Sept, but huuuuge. I hope I like them, though I'm not sure I should have gotten both since they're kind of similar and I've got a butt-ton of yo-sized already. Maybe one will be the first doll I actually resell.
Work's been work. Deanne's been getting disenfranchised, which worries me, but I think this last meeting for our tech commitee was a bit heartening. This is Barbara's last month, so that whole reference office-shift is coming up quickly.
Deanne, Robert, Daniel and I are heading to Carlsbad this Sunday. I need to find my good walking shoes and get all my camera crap together. We'll hopefully be able to do the Caverns and Living Desert. Maybe a skosh bit of shopping. I think it will be nice to just get out of town and it's something we all sorely need.
At the risk of jinxing it for the 10 millionith time, George has invited me to Socorro for his birthday so maybe the 2010 curse will find some other way to smite me besides making me miss this trip again. He'll be down in a couple weeks, too, so that will be fun. Even if it's just us hanging out playing games or shopping, I'm cool with that. I'm just so tired these days.
Heh, my 10 Year HS reunion should be this year, but I haven't heard anything about it. Maybe I should do another search and see if anyone with gumption has come to that realization, as well.
Ah, I guess this has gotten long enough. Just want to say, I'm very happy that Shear Genius is back. Yay, something to look forward to!
I took a hard hit when Fluffernutter disappeared. I still have no idea what happened to her, but even though she was outdoors, she always greeted me when I came and left my house and it still hurts to have lost her. Still tearing up, apparently.
Some other crap's gone down recently that has made me deeply resentful and unhappy to the point where I think I just need to retreat awhile and cut out a part of my life. I was ready to leave work last night, but I think that was too drastic. There's angry emotions still inside, though, but I think I just need turn to other things at this point in time. I've realized how draining it is to hate someone I barely even see and the frustration I feel about other people's lives, well damn near every day and it's just not something I want to live with anymore. Yeah, there's being a friend, but at this point, I don't think I'm helping much in that regard and I would rather just take the stress away from myself. Cryptic, I know, but I'm just working a lot of stuff out right now. I'm hoping by letting this go, I can move forward more with my life instead of dwelling on things that will never happen.
I did order some dolls to help cheer me up, even though they probably won't be here til late march or april. :| Finally ordered my Puki PongPong
denverdoll.com/images/fairyland/pongpongirl.jpg
since they're pretty rare on the marketplace and got a pukifee since I talked myself out of a Lati Ninja.
denverdoll.com/images/fairyland/pffloracol.jpg
Still love them, but holy crap they are expensive. And since I was close to the amount, I got Puki Chichi too, so he'll be the last little angry part of my gang. I need to figure out a weapon for him though.
denverdoll.com/images/fairyland/chichi.jpg
That also netted me the limited scar head and fire magic arm for a minifee. I'll worry about getting a body when I've actually got the stuff and a faceup for it. I may actually comission that one out if I can figure out how I want it to look. Not sure on the closed eyes either, but I'm sure I could find someone to open the non-scarred one if need be. Aaah, can't wait. They're all so cute.
Actually, I should have my Customhouse dolls coming soon. They're supposedly onto the indidual Oct orders and ours was mid-Sept, but huuuuge. I hope I like them, though I'm not sure I should have gotten both since they're kind of similar and I've got a butt-ton of yo-sized already. Maybe one will be the first doll I actually resell.
Work's been work. Deanne's been getting disenfranchised, which worries me, but I think this last meeting for our tech commitee was a bit heartening. This is Barbara's last month, so that whole reference office-shift is coming up quickly.
Deanne, Robert, Daniel and I are heading to Carlsbad this Sunday. I need to find my good walking shoes and get all my camera crap together. We'll hopefully be able to do the Caverns and Living Desert. Maybe a skosh bit of shopping. I think it will be nice to just get out of town and it's something we all sorely need.
At the risk of jinxing it for the 10 millionith time, George has invited me to Socorro for his birthday so maybe the 2010 curse will find some other way to smite me besides making me miss this trip again. He'll be down in a couple weeks, too, so that will be fun. Even if it's just us hanging out playing games or shopping, I'm cool with that. I'm just so tired these days.
Heh, my 10 Year HS reunion should be this year, but I haven't heard anything about it. Maybe I should do another search and see if anyone with gumption has come to that realization, as well.
Ah, I guess this has gotten long enough. Just want to say, I'm very happy that Shear Genius is back. Yay, something to look forward to!
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-04 10:08 pm (UTC)I'm sorry things have been crappity :(
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Date: 2010-02-04 11:18 pm (UTC)Sadly, I don't really have much to complain about. Just have a crappity mood and mental state of being. You seem to be having a lot worse go of it than I am, anyways, but I look forward to seeing your new baby. I need some d'aaawww to brighten things up. :D I didn't realize how bumpy the road was to getting there though.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-05 01:32 am (UTC)Carlsbad sounds like fun. If it's not too cold, I always enjoy going to Sitting Bull Falls to swim & stuff. Never heard of the shopping being all that grand but hopefully you'll find cool stuff.
And I'm always up for people visiting me out here. ^_^ You know... if you ever want to get out of state & to somewhere that's awesome.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-05 04:54 pm (UTC)I would love to visit you more, but I wish I didn't have to fly. The cost of the plane tickets is what kills me. -_-
no subject
Date: 2010-02-05 01:21 pm (UTC)*hug* Did I know of Fluffernutter going MIA? I'm so sorry. Kitty empathy.
I'm sorry about the cryptic stress going on. Hopefully 2010 will redeem itself shortly?
no subject
Date: 2010-02-05 04:47 pm (UTC)I'm hoping like Naomi said, it's just getting it's bad stuff out of the way. It's crushing everybody, though. A coworker's husband slipped on the ice and had bleeding on the brain, so it's not just my circle it seems. Blarg. If I can figure out filters, I'll fill in more of my crypticness. Or if you really care you can email me and I'll tell you.
I've loved PongPong for so long. We already have his little Haah happy noise he makes and I've got his punch gloves so he can just spazz out with that adorable grin on his face. Too bad I have to wait 2 months to get him. Boo.
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Date: 2010-02-05 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-05 11:43 pm (UTC)I know around my area we've had a couple go missing because people see them outside and stop,pick them up, and take them home. I know this because two disappeared for about six months and then magically returned (both female and both pregnant OF COURSE). Also, sometimes we'll have cats that will move onto a different house in the neighborhood for whatever reason. A couple we used to feed live across the street not and won't let us pet them anymore.
Cats are weird. I don't know how long she's been missing or what your area's like but there's always some hope she'll return. I'm very sorry for your loss.